About moi

Allegedly, my grandmother tried to force my mother to have an abortion. Allegedly, my mother would beat her stomach and curse my existence while I was in her womb. Allegedly, my birth father didn't want anything to do with me when I was born. At just four years old, my stepfather raped me, stripping me of my innocence. At 14, due to my desperate longing for love, I became a child bride to a man twice my age. As a young adult, I moved on from that relationship. 

Still, I found myself caught in a pattern of heavily abusive relationships. In one of those relationships, my then-partner, at nine months pregnant, threw me over a two-story building. As I fiercely grasped the handrail, screaming, "I'm pregnant! I'm pregnant!" I feared for not only my life but the life of my unborn child.

Consequently, I became part of a disheartening statistic, facing the difficulties of being a young single mother. I dropped out of high school and relied on welfare to make ends meet. At times, enduring periods of homelessness, resorting to panhandling at the Venice Beach Pagodas to survive. 

Amidst these challenges, I battled with thoughts of suicide, narcissism, addictions, and self-destruction. I struggled with self-hate, rigid, unhealthy boundaries, being vulnerable, giving everyone and everything permission to mistreat, neglect, and abuse me. I was overwhelmed by a profound sense of hopelessness and lived in a perpetual state of fear.

Fear consumed and ravaged me, leaving no space, no room to breathe. It choked my existence. It became an ever-present, intimate companion. It was always there, by my side, dependable and predictable. It controlled every step and every thought and kept me bound. Fear controlled me. It led me down a dangerous path, on the expressway to hell. It was overshadowing any happiness. 

However, Abba-God pursued me passionately in my emptiness, drawing me into His love's depths. He enveloped me with mercy, grace, compassion, tenderness, and love, filling my void. His presence became my refuge, where I discovered my worth and purpose. Under His loving shelter, I broke free from destructive patterns and found hope and healing.

Because of Him, I found my divine essence and purpose! I began to trust in my Creator, the One who gave me life—our heavenly Father, Abba. Fear, aka the lying father, the enemy of our souls, held me captive, but the God of the Hebrews, my heavenly Father, set me free!

I felt a love so deep it transformed me forever. This love went beyond my skin, muscles, and bones. It reached into the depths of my soul; every fiber of my existence was ignited into an eternal flame. It was like a warm, powerful hug from the inside out. This love lit a fire that will never go out, making me feel more alive. It was as if God Himself held me so close that it filled and invaded me. This tender and fierce love, gentle yet overwhelming, became the air I breathed, the blood in my veins, and the thoughts in my mind. This love made me feel connected to something bigger than myself, something extraordinary and endless. Something supernatural!

However, even after I was set free from the fangs of the enemy, I faced the formidable influences of my beliefs, pride, ego, negative thoughts, unhealthy relationships, unresolved trauma, unresolved emotional wounds, old patterns of self-destruction, what some call unregenerate woman, and the feeling of being stuck.

In the sacred surrender that followed—the sacred romance—I was immersed in God's overwhelming presence, enveloped by His transformative love and purpose; His yearning for my love was palpable. This intimate encounter ignited a deep longing, compelling me to know and experience the awe-inspiring essence of the Almighty intimately and uniquely.

Through the process of healing, forgiving, letting go, deliverance, redemption, therapy, counseling, mentorships, and finally, other Life Coaches, I found my path and now live out in overflow (see John 10:10). I now have the privilege and honor of partnering with Him to bring freedom to others (see Matthew 28:19-20). 

Walking the walk is more than just a saying—it's a powerful way of living. As someone who was once spiritually, physically, emotionally, and even financially bound, I know the incredible freedom of breaking those chains (see Isiah 61:1). Sis, I encourage you to do the same!

Unleash yourself from anything holding you back and step into your true purpose and destiny (see Jeremiah 29:11). When you believe in Him, there are no limits to what you can achieve (see Philippians 4:13).

In conclusion, my sister in Christ, they can take everything away from you: titles, marital status, bank accounts, your children, your homes, but what they can't take away is the price you have paid for your anointing. Plus, with unwavering trust in the Lord, the chains that hold you captive break, giving you the strength to rise and embrace a life of purpose and limitless possibilities for His honor and glory.

Selah.

Your sis,

Ordained

Biblical

Certified

Sobriety

Life Coach

Yolanda Nichols

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